


You Gotta Want It Bad

by LadyBoBo



Category: Stranger Things - Fandom
Genre: Fake Relationship, Homophobia, M/M, Misunderstandings, Modern AU, My Best Friend's Wedding AU, Pining, mild violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-27 04:17:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18189671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyBoBo/pseuds/LadyBoBo
Summary: “Nancy’s getting married.” As Steve says it, it feels like he’s outside his body. “And I have to go to Indiana to try and win her back.”





	You Gotta Want It Bad

**Author's Note:**

> I would say this is the My Best Friend's Wedding AU that nobody asked for, but my best friend asked for it. Repeatedly and aggressively. And so this is my birthday present to her. I hope you enjoy it, boo. It really ran away with itself.

Steve darts through the crosswalk long after the light has changed to the firm, unambiguous red glow of the open hand. He’s an idiot. He knows this. He knew it even before the taxi barely-only-sort-of clips the bag he has thrown over his shoulder.

The thing is, he’s late. Steve’s the kind of guy who’s always running a few minutes behind, and that doesn’t normally bother him. Well, it still doesn’t _bother_ him, per se. But it bothers Billy, and when Billy’s bothered he gets The Look on his face.

Steve does an impressive hurdle over a bike rack and almost plows over a cluster of dogs being wrangled by a particularly harried dog walker. Steve ignores her and stumbles over himself into the restaurant. It’s quiet, because Billy knows how to pick a time of day so he gets precisely as much attention as he wants. It’s too quiet when Steve throws himself down in the chair and knocks the table with his knees, rattling all the silverware.

Billy arches an eyebrow and purses his lips, tilting his head the slightest degree. The Look. “It’s amazing how we’ve been meeting at the same place at the same time every other week for over four months, and you still act like the appointment takes you by surprise.”

“Appointment,” Steve huffs. “It’s a lunch. A casual lunch.”

The way that Billy can maneuver looking both affronted and unaffected in a single motion as he snaps a cloth napkin out over his lap is artful. “Nothing about me is casual, Pretty Boy.”

“I’m only two minutes late.”

Billy lifts his eyes to the Heavens, as if looking for someone to blame. “And I was ten minutes early. Honestly, Harrington, it’s about the appearance of giving a shit. No wonder you can’t keep a woman.”

Steve snorts. “Yes, and that has nothing to do with the fact that all of the women you keep trying to set me up with are either engaged, on the verge of a nervous break down, or lesbians. Sometimes all three.”

Technically, Billy and Steve are coworkers. Billy isn’t exactly Steve’s boss, but only one of them has an office with a window and a company credit card. So he’s his superior, certainly. Billy is an Agent Director at the publishing house, and Steve… Well, Steve is a dime a dozen in the HR pen.

That means that since, somehow, the two of them happen to also be friends, Billy pays for their lunches. It also means he takes a lot of joy in making Steve squirm with his lectures about presentability.

“Well, I wouldn’t have to accidentally set you up with a revolving door of butch lesbians if you would tell me anything about your type.” Billy manages to make taking a sip from his wineglass look judgmental. “And hey, maybe women would even start asking you out on their own if you ever ironed your shirts.”

Steve wants to laugh. Ironing his shirts? That’s the least of his worries. Steve could be dressed in 24 carat gold from hair to toe and it wouldn’t have any women knocking on his door. Not that Billy could understand. It’s tragic, really- Every time Billy enters a room all the women inside hold their breath hoping he’ll so much as look their way. And Billy is gayer than Christmas in July.

“Should I be taking notes?” Steve drawls, pouring himself his own glass of Pinot Noir. “Give a shit, iron shirts- Anything else I should know?”

“Women aren’t going to find that bitchy attitude of yours cute.”

Steve plasters on a saccharine smile. “But you do.”

Billy’s eyebrow twitches, and there it is again. The Look.

A shrill beeping cuts through the tension. Steve pulls his cellphone out to answer it, but the second it’s in sight Billy snatches it away. “Hey!”

“If it’s important, they’ll leave a message.” He jabs the _ignore_ button and places the phone primly back on the table. “You should make a point to focus on who you’re with.”

“Enough people are focused on you,” Steve mutters as his phone beeps again, alerting him of a voicemail. “Ha!” He lifts the screen to see who’s been trying to get in touch with him, and something must change on his face, because Billy’s whole demeanor shifts.

“Who is it?”

Steve’s throat is almost too dry to answer. “Nancy.”

The judgmental air floods Billy’s body again. “Ah. The real reason you can’t hold down a relationship for more than two dates.”

Yes and no.

“She’s my best friend.”

Yes and no.

“Do you want to listen to that?”

Yes and no.

The thing is, the history of Steve and Nancy is messy. The two of them dated when Steve was in his senior year of high school- it was sweet and hot and everything Steve never knew a relationship could be. Steve was the upper class bad boy teetering on the edge of redemption, and Nancy was the middle class sweetheart who cracked open his heart of gold. It was doomed from the start, really, but Steve put the final nail in the coffin when he told Nancy that him going off to college meant he had to leave behind high school things.

Nancy didn’t take it well, and the two of them didn’t speak for over a year and a half. When they ran into each other again at a pool party the summer before Steve’s junior year, they agreed they had both been a little bit dramatic at the end of it all. And thus a beautiful friendship was born, full of long road trips, drunken stunts, crying, laughing, and a surprising amount of vomit.

And on one particularly memorable occasion three years ago, the two of them made a solemn vow that, if neither of them were married by the time Nancy turned twenty-eight, then they’d hop a plane to Vegas and tie the knot. It’s this stupid, pervasive memory that’s been plaguing Steve for the last week or two, as Nancy’s birthday creeps closer and closer. He doesn’t know whether to cut and run, or sweep her up into his arms and stop delaying the inevitable.

He starts the message and lifts his phone up to his ear.

“ _Hi Steve_ ,” Nancy’s voice quakes over the phone, sounding distant and static. “ _I have a favor to ask. No, a confession? This is all wrong. I… Is this a stupid thing to tell you over voice mail?_ ” She laughs, in that special, self-deprecating way that Steve could’ve written sonnets about, once upon a time. “ _I don’t care. I can’t keep it inside another second. Steve, I… I’m in love. I’m getting married!_ ”

Steve’s heart slams to the bottom of his stomach, and the blood rushing through his ears sounds like a train rushing down the tracks. 

“ _I know it’s all so fast, but I can’t help myself. I’ve never been happier, and I- God, Steve. I want you to be here. I need you to be here. The wedding is in five days, and it wouldn’t feel right without you by my side. Call me back when you can, okay? And say yes!_ ”

Steve sets the phone down and picks up the bottle of wine to drink directly from the source. A furrow of worry that Steve’s never seen settles in Billy’s brow. “What happened?”

“Nancy’s getting married.” As Steve says it, it feels like he’s outside his body. “And I have to go to Indiana to try and win her back.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Billy slams the door of his Camaro shut and looks at Steve over the roof. The wind ruffles his blond hair, and Steve thinks he looks like one of those men from cologne commercials- loose, and confident, and inhumanly virile. Steve just stares.

“You sure you want to do this, Pretty Boy?”

The spell is broken, and Steve just scowls. “Yes- just like the other twelve times you asked.”

Billy laughs, hauling a duffle bag out of the back. “You have to admit, it’s crazy. I mean, half-cocked at best. You’re going to walk away from this thing with either a black eye or a police record. Trust me, I have experience with both.”

“Nobody said you were obligated to come with me,” Steve argues, tugging his bag out with less finesse. “In fact, I think I told you not to.”

“Honestly, what are friends for? We’re practically partners in crime.” Billy throws an arm around Steve’s shoulders, and Steve tries not to smile. “Besides, I had all those frequent flier miles and hotel vouchers out the ass. It’ll be kind of fun to bear witness to your mental breakdown.”

Steve elbows him in the side, and Billy winces with a dramatic flair. “I think it’s really going to work out this time.”

“Steve, I’m going to ask you a question, and you’re going to stand there and be absolutely honest with me, okay? Are you doing this because you’ve really, truly been head over heels nasty in love with Nancy Wheeler for a decade, or because you hate the idea of another man winning?”

“Maybe I never really understood what real love was until the moment I heard her voice on the phone telling me I’d missed my chance.” Steve turns and starts to toe backwards as he gesticulates at Billy. “Maybe I’ve spent a third of my life running from the one thing that could ever make me really happy. Maybe I don’t know how to be anything but miserable.”

Billy rolls his eyes as Steve trips over the curb. “None of that answered my question.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

As they step off the plane, Billy is pleasantly buzzed. Five of those tiny rum bottles will do that. Steve, on the other hand, is stone cold sober. And regretting it.

“Why don’t you chill out?” Billy stretches long and luxurious, like a jungle cat, and all of the women in the waiting area snap their eyes to the tiny strip of skin above his waistband. “Those thoughts knocking around in your head are giving _me_ a headache.”

Steve pinches the bridge of his nose and waits for the view of Billy’s abdomen to disappear. “Sorry, some of us didn’t pound back drinks like a sorority sister on the way over here.”

“Bitchy,” Billy grins. “Speaking of pounding ‘em back, I’ve got to take a piss.”

Steve clutches his arm like a lifeline. “Nancy is going to pick us up any second!”

“I thought you didn’t even want me to come?” Billy sing-songs, brushing Steve off and strutting off towards the men’s room.

It’s then, right as Billy fades out of view, that the crowd parts. And Steve knows- he _knows_ \- that even though the lean, skittish looking man is standing there alone, _that_ is the man that Nancy plans to marry. He steps forward, and a tiny smile curls at his lips. His eyes are shy- he has trouble making eye contact- but the look in them is warm. The way he moves- slow, but standing tall- it says that’s he’s nervous, but not self-conscious.

Steve hates him immediately.

“You must be Steve Harrington.” The man extends his hand, and Steve has to force himself to take it. “Nancy does nothing but talk you up. I’m Jonathan Byers.”

“Well. What little I know about you has been nothing but good.” Byers’ handshake is loose and weak, like he didn’t grow up with a hard-ass father who lectured him about what it means to be a man. Steve squeezes once before letting go. “Where is the woman of the hour?”

Jonathan laughs, a little awkward. “She’s looking for a parking space. I offered to drive, but she had to borrow her dad’s car, and-”

“And Nance never lets anyone touch her daddy’s car.” Steve nods knowingly. Because he does know. He knows everything about her.

An excited squeal cuts across the waiting area. Nancy jogs over, practically vibrating with excitement. “King Steve Harrington, on his way back to Hawkins, Indiana.”

Steve grabs Nancy around the waist and spins her, just like he used to when they were in high school. For those few seconds, it’s just like nothing ever changed. When he puts her back on her perfect feet, he has to swallow hard to keep from throwing up as reality sets back in. “And princess Nancy, finally getting ready to step into a gown. Is it going to be white though? I think you might have lost your claim on purity a while ago.”

“Oh, Steve!” Nancy bats him on the chest, just where a bundle of warmth is blossoming. Jonathan’s cheeks are pink, but Steve can’t tell if it’s from embarrassment or jealousy. Neither is a good fit for a girl like Nancy.

“I guess it doesn’t matter,” Steve smiles softly. “You could wear lime green and make it look beautiful.”

Jonathan puts his hand on the small of Nancy’s back, so Steve puts his money on jealousy. Nancy’s cheeks heat up, and Steve knows exactly what _that_ means. Flattery gets him anywhere, if you catch the drift.

Nancy flaps her hands in the air like she’s waving away the old fond memories. “So where’s this plus one of yours?”

“Bathroom,” Steve sighs. “And taking his sweet ass time.”

“I have to admit, I was a little disappointed when you told me who you were bringing.” Steve tenses up like he’s been caught in a trap, but Nancy barrels on. “I was hoping it would be a girlfriend or something. I want to see you happy! Billy- he’s your boss right?”

“Not… Not boss exactly. Coworker. And not just that.”

Jonathan gives a curious smile, so the next annoying words out of his mouth come out more interested than accusatory. “Yeah, Nance said that you’re pretty restless, relationship wise. What was that joke you made?”

Nancy laughs, bright and clear, in a way that would make angels seethe with envy. “That his longest relationship is his gym membership.”

“What a fun joke.” Steve flashes a tight smile. “But you know, Billy… Billy is actually probably the longest. Two whole years.”

“You can’t count business relationships.” Nancy rolls her eyes, and Steve wonders why he has chosen to surround himself with beautiful blue eyes that can’t stand him.

Steve feels like he’s eaten a bucket full of those shellfish he’s allergic to. His throat is tight and burning. “I’m not! Billy and I, we’re a thing.” The lie rolls off his tongue so easily, he can’t even convince himself he wasn’t planning it the whole plane ride over. “An item. A romantic item.”

The silence that stretches between them is equal parts shock and disbelief. Nancy blinks her owlish eyes. “You and Billy? The same Billy you’ve told me all about? For two years?” She takes a deep, shuddering breath. “Why wouldn’t you tell me before now?”

The panic rushes the fabrication right past his lips. “Well Billy, he’s kind of nervous about that kind of thing, you know? It’s one thing to be out of the closet, it’s another thing to be the cliche that’s mounting the only other queer at work.” Oh God. “And it’s been nice, keeping it on the down low. Having a… A hot, private thing all for myself.”

“O…kay.” Nancy laces her fingers through Jonathan’s.

“In fact!” Steve continues, like he’s been possessed. “Well, I didn’t want to just blurt it out like this, and maybe it’s bad timing and all, what with the attention supposed to be focused on you.” He barks a manic laugh. “Maybe I should’ve just left a voice message, too! But Billy and I? We’re engaged."

Billy saunters his way back over, and it couldn’t be a more dramatic entrance even if there was a spotlight and industrial fans billowing his hair. “Hey, sorry I took so long. There was this real fuckin’ cute dog by the water fountain. Hey,” he extends his hand toward Nancy.

Nancy stares at him like he’s the Boogey Man. “Congratulations.”

“Congratulations? Me?”

Steve grabs Billy by the front of his henley and tugs him into a kiss. For whatever reason, Billy kisses back. Maybe it’s the alcohol. Maybe he likes putting on a show. It’s deep, and wet, and messy, and it makes Steve feel like it’s suddenly 200 degrees in that airport.

He pulls away, and he’s a little dizzy. “I know we talked about keeping it quiet… _Love Monkey_ , but I couldn’t help it. I told them we’re engaged.”

Nancy picks up Steve’s bag and pushes Jonathan away when he tries to help. “We should get going. It’s getting dark and… You know. Dinner.”

They start towards the exit and Billy leans into Steve to hiss, “What the fuck?”

“I’ll explain later, okay? But as far as you’re concerned, you’re madly in love with me until we get to the hotel.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Billy lies sprawled out on the bed, looking obnoxiously perfect in the first button down he plucked out of his suitcase. It’s red, and Billy looks really sexy in red. Which is great. It’s fine. It’s just, Steve is supposed to be the one who looks good here, and he’s cycled through all of his shirts three times and can’t pick one.

“You could always go naked,” Billy suggests, propping up on his elbows. “That would certainly grab their attention.” 

“Ha ha,” Steve deadpans, reaching for the black button down again. “I’m trying to show Nancy that I’m finally a sensible guy who has his heart open and his life together.”

Billy tips his head back to laugh, and the sight derails Steve for a quarter of a second. “You’re _not_ a sensible guy who has his heart open and his life together.”

“Yeah, well, she doesn’t have to know that!” He whips the shirt off and tosses it at Billy.

“While we’re on the subject of things little Nancy Wheeler does and doesn’t have to know, why the fuck did you think telling her we’re engaged would help you on your little crusade?”

Steve's cheeks heat up as he fumbles into a light blue button down. “I didn’t really think about it when I said it. But I actually think it’s a great move. If you had seen her face… She’s totally jealous, Billy.”

“She totally loves another man, Steve.”

At this, Steve finally turns around to glare. “And she loved me first! And longer. But suddenly some edgy artist loser walks into the picture and she’s going to throw away all that history? Not on my watch.”

Billy sighs and flattens out on the bed. “Love makes us do some crazy-ass things, doesn’t it? Whatever. I guess my next question is… Why didn’t you tell me you were into guys?”

“Does it matter?” Steve tosses the blue shirt aside and picks up a white one.

“I assumed we were friends. It seems like something you might have mentioned. Might have helped me send you on a date that didn’t suck.”

Steve laughs, even as he frowns at his reflection- the white makes him look washed out. “I don’t know why I didn’t mention it. I didn’t try _not_ to mention it. Besides… It became kind of a thing. A fun thing- you send me off on terrible dates, and then we get drunk talking about how the whole thing was probably my fault.”

Billy rolls off the bed and plucks a purple button down from his suitcase. “I stand by the assumption that your behavior makes women more sapphic.”

A confusing knot of nerves curls in Steve’s stomach as Billy approaches with the new shirt. “I look terrible in purple.”

“It’s not for you.” Billy unbuttons his red shirt excruciatingly slow. Steve would be lying if he said he wasn’t transfixed. A knowing smile twitches at Billy’s mouth as he slips it off his shoulders and presses it against Steve’s chest. “But you look really sexy in red.”

For whatever reason, Steve trembles as he changes into Billy’s shirt. “Thanks. For everything- going along with this. Just… Never mind.”

Billy quirks a brow. “What?”

“Just try to play it cool, okay? Be low key.”

Steve is treated to Billy’s signature panty-melting smile. “Baby, I’m always cool.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Billy, as it turns out, is _not_ always cool.

Steve had grabbed Billy’s hand when they entered the restaurant, but as they approach the overwhelming gathering of Nancy and Jonathan’s friends and family, Billy takes his hand back to slide it into Steve’s back pocket. The move puts them flush together, and Billy takes the opportunity to tip his head against Steve’s shoulder.

A sour look crosses Nancy’s face, but Jonathan lights up. “Steve! Billy! We almost thought you weren’t going to make it.”

“Sorry about that,” Billy starts in that deep, rumbly voice that always makes people perk up and listen. “We got a little sidetracked. Couldn’t get this one to keep his clothes on.” He removes his hand from Steve’s pocket, only to swing it forward and smack’s Steve’s ass. Hard.

Most of the table titters with laughter. Nancy’s mom looks a little hot under the collar. Steve just wants to melt into the floor.

“Why don’t you come sit by me?” Nancy’s maid of honor- Barb- offers. Steve definitely recalls how much she hated him all through high school, but something must have changed. She’s a saving grace, getting them out of the spotlight.

Steve is quick to slide in next to Barb, which puts Billy directly across from Karen Wheeler. It’s a play Steve immediately regrets, but Karen has already latched on before he can rectify it.

“I’m so glad you could join us, Billy.” She’s blushing like a school girl, and Nancy’s glaring almost as hard as Steve. “I have to admit, I was worried about Steve for a while there.”

“What?” Steve almost knocks his water glass over. “Why?”

“Don’t be offended,” Nancy half-begs. “She just means you’ve never been the type to settle down, is all.”

Shame creeps up the back of his neck. It’s not untrue, but why should it matter? They should be the ones who are ashamed- feeling sorry for him when he’s perfectly happy. And he is happy. He is. Right? “Well, I’ve changed.”

Billy grabs him by the chin and turns his face towards him. Those killer blue eyes have gone heavy with flirtation, and Steve is so sure he’s not going to survive through dinner. “He really has. Big bad Steve the heartbreaker is gone, and the handsome minx in front of me is all mine.”

Nancy’s little brother, Mike, gags. Karen coos. Barb smiles, and Steve knows instantly that he had misread her. Her hatred still burns strong and it’s about to come out and play.

“That’s so sweet. How did the two of you meet?”

Steve’s fingers dig into Billy’s thigh under the table. “Oh, no one wants to hear about that.”

“It sounds like they do.” Billy’s hand snakes under the table between Steve’s legs. When he squeezes, Steve’s knee bashes against the table.

Steve retracts his claws, and Billy puts an end to his groping with a shit-eating grin. Something tells Steve that he’s lost the battle _and_ the war.

“It’s nothing special. Really.”

Nancy rolls her eyes and straightens her silverware. “It was just through work, right? People meet like that every day.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” Billy sighs dreamily. “Work came after, but… Well, if no one’s interested, I won’t bore you.”

Karen swats at Billy’s arm. “Like you could ever bore anybody!”

Jonathan’s brother, Will, who has been doing his best to blend into the scenery finally speaks up, something like hero worship in his eyes. “Yeah, I’d kind of like to know.”

“It was like something out of a dream. The start of the night was complete shit for me- I had been stood up for a date at some glittery dive bar in Greenwich Village.”

“Stood up?” Karen laughs. “You?”

“I know, we’re all shocked, Karen. Anyway,” Billy starts playing with the hair at the nape of Steve’s neck, sending chills up and down his spine. “There I am, all alone in the gayest little establishment in the city, throwing back shots of Cuervo like my life depends on it. In walks a handsome stranger, decked out in the tightest pair of jeans I’ve ever seen. He looks amazing. I mean, this ass deserves a national monument, am I right, Nance?”

Nancy begins to thaw, swayed by Billy’s theatrics. “I plead the fifth.”

“Okay,” Steve forces a laugh through his teeth. “I think you can see where this goes, so…”

“I’m curious,” Joyce Byers shrugs, taking a long sip of her wine to hide her smirk.

“Thank you. So like I was saying,” Billy gives Steve’s hair a playful tug. “This stunner makes his entrance, and I’m floored. I can’t concentrate on anything else, but of course he won’t even look my way. He’s the broody type, playing it hard to get so the fun comes to him.”

Barb snorts. “Sounds familiar.”

Billy leans forward on his elbows, diving deeper into his story with a growing excitement that sets Steve on edge. “Well, just as I’m about to get the courage to make my way across the crowded bar, the clock strikes twelve. Little did I know, that at midnight that humble little pumpkin of a bar would transform into a charming little karaoke spot.”

Nancy’s hands fly to her mouth. “No!”

“You serenaded him right?” Jonathan asks, mouth almost splitting in two with his smile. “You had to.”

Billy pats the back of Jonathan’s hand. “It seems so obvious, right?”

“A little too obvious,” Steve mutters.

“So obvious, but I’m sitting there like some sad sack while a line of drag queens are crooning out Cher songs, thinking how am I supposed to get this hunk to pay attention to me during all this? But then the bull-dyke bartender slides a free shot my way and says ‘Go get him, or get out. You’re bringing down the mood.’”

Karen claps, bouncing a little in her seat. “You _did_ sing!”

“What did you sing?” Will’s eyes are the size of saucers, and it looks like he’s about ready to push Steve out of his chair and take his place. At this point, Steve would happily let him.

Billy takes both of Steve’s hands in his and presses a kiss to the knuckles before he softly starts, “ _I made it through the wilderness_.”

“No,” Steve whispers, the last vestiges of his pride shriveling up and dying.

“ _Somehow I made it through._  
_Didn’t know how lost I was,_  
_until I found you._ ”

Billy rises abruptly to his feet, pointing at Steve so the entire restaurant focuses their attention.

“ _I was beat,_  
_incomplete._  
_I’d been had,_  
_I was sad and blue._ ”

He drags his palms down Steve’s chest, putting a sensual roll in his hips.

“ _But you made me feel._  
_Yeah, you made me feel_  
_shiny and new._ ”

Nancy hoots, and Steve stands up in a desperate attempt to get away. Billy just yanks him forward, crashing their pelvises together.

“ _Like a virgin._  
_Touched for the very first time._  
_Like a virgin._  
_When your heart beats_  
_next to mine._

 _Gonna give you all my love, boy. ___  
_My fear is fading fast._  
_Been saving it all for you,_  
_‘cause only love can last._ ”

____

____

Billy frames Steve’s face in his rough hands, and Steve feels caught. His heart is hammering in his chest, and the fantasy Billy is spinning for all the world to see is threading the oxygen right out of his lungs.

“ _You’re so fine,_  
_and you’re mine._  
_Make me strong,_  
_yeah you make me bold._  
_Oh, your love thawed out._  
_Yeah, your love thawed-_ ”

Steve dives forward and catches Billy’s mouth in a savage kiss. The restaurant erupts in applause, but it does its job- Billy shuts the hell up. And Billy returns one hell of a kiss, face crumpling up like a fire is burning through him as his fingers dig into Steve’s back and his tongue sweeps up behind his teeth.

“I guess Steve liked it,” Nancy drawls.

Billy pulls away, breathing hard, a little pink in the cheeks. “He loved it. He came back to my place and we used muscles we didn’t even know we had. It was one of the best nights of my life, and I would have believed it was all some drunken hallucination, because by the time I woke up in the morning, Steve had disappeared.”

Will looks like a child wrapped up in a fairytale. “Except you ended up working together.”

“Right. The day he walked into that office in his sexy little charcoal suit, with his messy hair and hipster glasses, looking absolutely perfect except for the stupid fucking socks he’d mismatched that day… I knew I was ruined. Nothing was ever going to be the same.”

Steve sits down hard, trying to hide the shaking in his hands. Billy’s story was absurd, and over the top, and almost entirely fictional. But not completely.

Steve remembers the socks he’d worn on his first day of work. He’d agonized the night before, trying to get the perfect ensemble for his first real, adult job. And he’d done a pretty damn good job, if he can say so himself. But he hadn’t looked closely enough at the socks he’d paired together- hadn’t noticed that one was navy and the other was a deep purple. He’d been too wracked with nerves. He hadn’t realized until he was in the elevator on the way to make his introductions.

And he remembers how Billy had sized him up that day. Had done The Look and declared “God help me,” while looking up at the sky in resignation.

Steve takes a desperate gulp of water. He tries desperately to understand why the outfit he’d spent so long on, only to ruin it, is something that Billy remembers when they’d only met for three minutes that day. It was a moment in passing.

It was nothing.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Steve almost collapses under the weight of Billy’s body as they stumble into the hotel room. The guy is compact, but he’s all muscle. And he’s so drunk he might as well be unconscious with how little he’s helping Steve actually get him in the fucking room.

“Jesus,” Steve mutters. “You ever hear of moderation?”

Billy bursts into a fit of giggles as Steve gets him on a bed. The wrong bed. Steve’s bed. “I’m not gonna turn down free booze, Pretty Boy. That’s jus’ rude.”

“If you’re so concerned with being polite, why don’t you throw your heavy ass into your own bed?”

“Heavy? My ass is perfect.” Billy purrs the last word, losing a bit of his appeal as he flails to get his shirt off. “Karen thinks so. Karen bought me all those drinks.”

Steve pushes his hand through his hair and sighs. “I know, Billy.”

Billy almost kicks Steve in the face trying to get his pants off. “Karen wants to fuck me.”

“I know, Billy.”

Billy crawls down the mattress towards Steve. He’s prowling, but too fucked up to be entirely sexy. He looks like a dizzy panther. Steve almost laughs. Almost.

“Do _you_ want to fuck me?” He hooks his fingers in Steve’s belt loops, looking up through his lashes in a practiced move.

God, how many men must Billy have strung along like this? Batting his eyes because he knows he’s gorgeous and irresistible and impossible to look away from. Steve’s body is hot all over, but something cold sits heavy in the pit of his stomach. He pushes Billy back.

“I want to get you some water so you can go to sleep.”

Billy pouts and reaches out for Steve, but Steve dodges his grabby hands. “Everyone we saw at dinner tonight thinks you’re lucky to be with me.”

“I’m not with you.” Steve punches the faucet on and grabs a flimsy plastic cup from beside the sink.

“They all think I’m charming, and funny, and handsome.”

Steve comes back to press the cup into Billy’s hands. “Then maybe you should be in their bed, instead of mine.”

Something flashes in Billy’s eyes. Hurt, anger- Steve can’t quite tell. But it’s sharp and it’s dangerous. Billy recoils and sneers, baring his teeth. “That’s the first smart thing you’ve said this whole trip.” He stands up, tripping over his feet a little. “Maybe ever.”

“What are you doing?” Steve’s tired. He’s ready for this whole thing to be over. He just doesn’t have the stamina for Billy Hargrove’s dramatics tonight. “Will you just lay back down? I don’t even care which bed, anymore.”

Billy shakes his head, which only makes him dizzier and all the more agitated. He digs through his suitcase, throwing clothes around the room. He fumbles dangerously into a t-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts before jamming his feet in a pair of sneakers.

Steve throws his hands up in the air. “Where are you going?”

“Elsewhere.”

Steve grabs for him, but Billy slaps him away. “You’re trashed, and you have no idea where anything is.”

“Not your problem, amigo.” Billy slips on a pair of sunglasses, despite the fact that the sun’s been down for hours.

“You’re going to get yourself killed.”

Billy throws open the door so hard it bounces off the wall. “And how embarrassing that would be for you. How would you explain that to Nancy?”

“Billy-”

But he’s already out the door.

Steve almost follows. He has a foot over the threshold and everything. But it’s not his fault Billy gets sensitive when he’s smashed. It’s not his fault that the woman he loves is marrying somebody else. He doesn’t want to be here either. Why is Billy making it all about him?

Steve sits down on his bed with a huff. He flicks the light off. Then back on.

He might not be going after Billy, but that doesn’t mean he’s getting any sleep, either.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Steve steps shakily out of the rental car, shutting the door softly behind him. That morning when he'd woken up, all of the lights were still on, his phone was chirping with seven missed calls, and Billy was still gone. He’s lucky it was Nancy blowing up his phone, telling him Joyce Byers had run into Billy last night and taken him home. It could have been the morgue.

Steve is an idiot.

The Byers’ house is shabby and small, and looks like it hasn’t seen a repair or paint job since the 70s. Voices carry from the backyard, so Steve bypasses knocking on the front door and goes straight through the gate. It seems the entire extended Byers clan is out today- grandparents, cousins, small children- even Nancy. And there’s Billy, lounging in a half-broken deck chair.

He moves to take a step toward him, but Nancy slides into his path. “Steve.”

“Hey, Nance. Thanks for letting me know he was okay.”

She crosses her arms, but her smile is warm and fond. “Don’t mess this up, alright?”

Steve huffs. “What makes you think I’m going to mess this up?” Besides the fact that it’s fictional, and Billy was found drunkenly wandering backstreets instead of safe in bed with Steve.

“Because good things scare you.” She punches him on the arm. “I would know. I was the first good thing you gave up. Don’t let him be the next.”

She walks off, and before Steve can head over to Billy, he sees that Will has taken up the spot next to him. Steve grunts, overcome with annoyance that is in no way related to jealousy. He has no problem interrupting.

He marches over- having to pause once as one of the younger Byers cousins cuts across his path to chase the basketball they’ve been throwing at an old, rusty hoop. He looms over Billy and Will, jamming his hands in his pockets. “Billy. Babe.”

Billy arches a brow over his sunglasses. “What can I do you for, Harrington?”

Steve’s cheeks heat pink. “Come on, don’t be like that.”

“Maybe I should go,” Will offers, rising to his feet.

“Thank you,” Steve accepts, at the same time Billy barks, “ _Stay._ ”

Will darts his gaze between the two of them before making the smart choice. He scurries off, taking up a conversation with someone Steve assumes is his dad.

Billy looks away from Steve, eyes focused on the exchange between Will and Byers senior. It grates at Steve, like a rock in the bottom of his shoe. “Unlucky for you that it was the in-laws that found me, huh?”

“No, it was lucky. Very lucky.” Steve takes a seat, trying to catch Billy’s eye. “I’m sorry. I’m… I’m not really sure what happened. But I was the one with a clear head, and at the very least I should have gone after you. I never should have let you step out the door.”

“Uh-huh.”

Steve watches Billy tense up as Joyce walks over to Will and his dad. He darts his eyes around and sees Nancy and Jonathan are just as tense. Everything is just… Very, very tense. “What’s going on?”

“From what I hear, Lonnie is a real prick.” A mother walking by glares at Billy for his language, but he just shrugs.

“That’s their dad?”

Billy stands and stretches- too casual, too long, too sensuous. “More like a sperm donor, if you ask me. Want to do me a favor?”

Steve stands, confused but eager to please. “Sure. Anything.”

“Time to kiss and make up.”

Billy pulls Steve into the deepest, messiest kiss he’s ever had. And Steve has had a _lot_ of deep, messy kisses. Steve has never been big on public displays of affection- something a lot of girlfriends and his therapists have told him go hand in hand with his commitment issues- but right now, he’s not aware of a single other person on Earth.

Until Lonnie makes a loud sound of disgust, and Will shoots back with, “Really, Dad?”

Billy and Steve pull apart in time to see the small scuffle unfold. Joyce tries to keep a lid on it- tries to manage Lonnie and protect Will, but it’s a lot for one very tiny woman to handle.

“ _Lonnie,_ ” Joyce snaps, and her ex-husband’s only response is to toss his beer bottle against the wall.

Jonathan takes a step toward them, but Nancy stops him, muttering about how he shouldn’t escalate the situation. Billy grins, because Billy has never cared about escalating. Billy has always been _great_ at escalating.

He stalks over as Will- despite his thin frame and nervous demeanor- tosses his Dad’s bullshit back in his face. “Really? You’re always telling me to grow up, but you can’t even control yourself when something you disagree with happens.”

“It’s disgusting,” he spits back. And he does spit.

“Lonnie,” Joyce isn’t playing around anymore. Her voice is cold and dangerous. Billy loves it. “I think you should call it a day.”

“Me? I’m not the one embarrassing myself!” Billy flexes his hands. He knows this old diatribe- he’s heard it at every Christmas, birthday, wedding, or funeral since he was fifteen. Sometimes he still gets the random drunken voice message at four in the morning. “I’m not the one letting our fag son flaunt his fag friends in front of the whole family.”

Billy inserts himself directly between Lonnie and Will. “Your fag son is an adult, and I don’t think it’s your place to _let_ him do anything.”

Steve’s heart is pounding in his throat. Lonnie’s been drinking, but he’s not drunk. Billy’s fit, but Steve’s never seen him in anything even remotely resembling an altercation. The guy is all about outwitting people and rising above things. He’s going to get that beautiful face bashed in, and Steve doesn’t know how to stop it.

“Why don’t you get out of my face?” Lonnie jabs a finger in the middle of Billy’s chest.

“Why don’t you get out of a place you’re not even welcome? You’re the one embarrassing yourself, and I guarantee Jonathan would rather his brother be happy than have his shithead deadbeat dad at his wedding.”

Jonathan breaks free of Nancy and pads over. “He’s right. You need to leave.”

The extended Byers family is forming a bit of a crowd, and Steve pushes through them to- He doesn’t even know. To tackle Lonnie, maybe, if things go south. He can’t just watch Billy get his ass handed to him.

Lonnie huffs a bitter laugh. “You always try to make me out to be the bad guy.”

“You’re doing a fine job of that yourself,” Billy drawls.

His damn big mouth. Lonnie draws his fist back to strike, but before knuckle can meet flesh, Billy deflects the blow, grabbing Lonnie by the wrist and twisting his arm behind his back. He has him pressed face first against the side of the house, squirming and grunting in pain.

“Nice try,” Billy murmurs lowly. “But I’ve been hit by enough dickheads like you to know how predictable you are.” He releases him and makes a sweeping gesture towards the gate. “Get the fuck out of here.”

Lonnie shakes his arm out, casting an incredulous glance over his family. “Fine. I don’t want to be here anyway. What a joke.”

He stomps away with the last tatters of his pride, and the way Will looked at Billy before pales in comparison to the way he’s looking at him now. “Thanks. I mean, you didn’t have to do that.”

Billy smirks, throwing an arm around Will’s shoulder. “It’s nothing. Wasn’t just for you. Some things I didn’t get to do for myself feel good to do for other people.”

Steve feels like a prized asshole. It feels like, suddenly, he doesn’t really know Billy at all. It feels like they’ve talked and talked and talked, but never really _talked_. Or maybe Steve talked, and all Billy did was listen. And whose fault is that? Did Steve take up all the space, or did Billy never really try to fill it?

All of these questions clamor to drive Steve mad, because he doesn’t have any answers. Not right now. But Jonathan’s family is shuffling around awkwardly, and several small children look like they’re on the verge of tears, and if there’s one thing Steve’s good at, it’s diffusing tension and pretending nothing is wrong.

Pretending nothing is wrong- another accusation from girlfriends and therapists.

Steve walks over to a kid of about nine or ten and gently bats the basketball out of his hands. The kid blinks up at him, confused. Steve dribbles, grinning wide. “Why don’t you show me some of your skills, huh?”

The second the kid smiles it feels like everyone in the yard remembers how to breathe. The kid darts forward to steal the ball back, and Steve does a pretty good job of pretending he didn’t just let him. Several of the other kids jump in, passing the ball back and forth and taking their shots.

Nancy nudges Jonathan. “You should join them.”

“Oh, I- I’m not very good." Jonathan goes pale. Paler than he was when he thought his dad was going to start throwing fists.

Nancy laughs and gives him a good-natured shove. “It doesn’t matter, Jon. They’re kids. It’ll make them happy to have you be a part of it.”

He nods, determined, and marches forward like he’s about to face a monster rather than several children and an under-inflated basketball. He’s not bad. Not really. Not _good_ \- not like Steve- but he knows the basics and he’s not tripping over his feet. He even starts to look like he’s having fun, after a while.

One of the children passes the ball to Billy, who looks a little shocked to be included. It only lasts a second though, and then he’s grinning and dribbling the ball over to the group. It’s so cute that Steve’s not even going to give him shit for traveling.

Really, despite the first shock-induced violation, Billy is good. Like actually good. If Steve didn’t find it kind of ( _or very, very_ ) hot, he might actually feel a little threatened. It’s probably a good thing that Will doesn’t jump into the fray, because Steve is enjoying drinking in a little of Billy’s attention.

What’s always drawn Steve to Billy is his dedication and focus. If he’s given a task- a client, an objective, a _sport_ \- he’s all in. Life is a competition for Billy, and he’s always out to win. Even now as he’s schooling kids on the makeshift basketball court, he’s committed. And he’s loving it. His tongue keeps poking out of his mouth and he’s cackling when one of the younger boys pulls one over on him.

It’s amazing.

Amazing, too, is the way that Steve and Billy brush and bump up against one another. It’s casual, but charged. Steve doesn’t know how to explain it. Everything that’s happened since last night has his brain in a tangled mess. But Billy is beautiful and electric and he’s apparently a bad ass, and Steve feels like he’s just getting to know him, and only wants to know more.

But that life-altering train of thought is abruptly derailed when Steve catches sight of Nancy. She’s standing there at the edge of it all, looking at Jonathan like he hung the moon in the sky. Steve doesn’t understand it. The guy didn’t do _anything_. He’s just embarrassing himself with a bunch of kids without really wanting to even be a part of it. And the expression on Nancy’s face is so warm.

Warm. _Warm_. Steve doesn’t know much about warm. Hot he knows. Steaming simmering, sizzling. Fiery. All that he’s familiar with. But warmth? It’s different.

Something changes, then. In him and in the game. The competitive nature amps up five notches. Steve starts playing a little harder, going for the ball a little more doggedly when it’s in Jonthan’s grip. He’s making showier baskets, showing off fancier footwork.

Billy notices. He does The Look. That tight-lipped judgmental head tilt. It only makes things worse, because now Steve is embarrassed for being caught out. Billy tries to intervene, starts acting as a buffer between him an Jonathan. But that just means Billy’s playing harder, too, which makes Jonathan try and step up his game.

It’s an accident- really, it is- when Steve throws an elbow and catches Jonathan on the nose.

Jonathan flails backwards, landing flat on his back as he cups his face. Steve freezes like a deer in headlights as Nancy jogs over.

“Oh, Jon!” She’s half-laughing, though, as she kneels beside him. “Are you okay?”

He nods, and immediately regrets it. He groans as a sharp ache shoots across the bridge of his nose.

Nancy only looks all the more charmed. She grabs a cold beer off of a table and presses it to his face. “You were doing so good, though.” She kisses at his brow. “I’m proud of you.”

Steve feels something inside of him die. What is the deal with Jonathan Byers? How can the guy fail monumentally at the simplest of things, and still come out on top?

The basketball promptly thunks against the back of Steve’s head. When he turns, glaring, he sees Billy standing there glaring right back. Then the glare melts into a smile, and Steve is even more confused than before.

“You really are an idiot, aren’t you, Pretty Boy?”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

They’re getting ready for bed that night when Steve stops smack dab in the middle of his routine. He has about half of his face moisturized, but he turns to Billy who’s stripping out of his shirt. He doesn’t want to make the same mistakes he made last night. He doesn’t want to not talk about it.

“I really am sorry.”

Billy looks over, surprised. “What?”

“I apologized earlier for last night, but it got kind of lost in everything that happened.” Steve shrugs. “I want you to know that I’m sorry. Whatever I did to hurt your feelings- I didn’t want that.”

Billy looks embarrassed, which is a new look for him. Steve wouldn’t have thought it was possible. “Don’t worry about it. It was just drunk brain.”

“It didn’t seem like drunk brain. I mean, it _did_ , but I know I’m also pretty clueless sometimes. So I probably said something, and-”

“Forget it,” Billy insists, turning away from him. Steve is almost worried he’s done something else wrong.

“Oh… Okay.” He toes across the room and wraps his arms around Billy from behind. “You were pretty great today.”

Billy tenses up under his palms, like an animal about to lash out. “What?”

“What you did for Will? You didn’t have to do that. It was kind. And bad ass. I didn’t know you knew how to fight.”

Billy huffs a laugh, wiggling out of Steve’s grip. “That wasn’t fighting, Harrington.”

“Maybe not.” Steve bites his lips. “But you kinda looked like you were ready to. And what you said about getting hit-”

“That’s none of your business.” Billy pushes past Steve and breezes into the bathroom.

Steve follows. “I know it’s not my business. But it can be. I mean, you can talk about it. If you ever want to.”

Billy rolls his eyes. “Why the hell would I want to?”

“I don’t know.” Steve’s voice is soft, but serious. “But I feel like maybe a part of you thinks that there are things about you that I wouldn’t listen to. And I just would, is all. Whatever it is.”

“That part of me is nothing to be proud of.”

Steve frames Billy’s face in his hands and gives his lips a soft peck. And sure, no one’s watching, but it’s friendly. Friends can kiss. It’s light, barely there.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, either.”

Pink blossoms over Billy’s cheeks, and he looks more flustered than Steve’s ever seen him. “If you plan on listening to me Steve, then listen to this: Be honest with Nancy.”

Steve feels like he’s been sideswiped. “What?”

“Just tell her you love her. Tell her this whole engagement thing was fake. Tell her you made a mistake letting her go.” Billy guides Steve out of the bathroom. “Then she can tell you you’re wasting your time, and you can get on with your life.”

He shuts the door.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The thing is, Billy is probably right. Billy was right the first time he told him to be honest. He was right when he told Steve not to come to this wedding at all. He was right two years ago when he told Steve he should get over Nancy Wheeler.

But Steve is stupid, and Steve loves Nancy. So, he hadn’t listened.

That changes today.

He leaves Billy sleeping in their hotel room and drives over to the Wheeler residence. He’s hoping since it’s early Nancy will still be there, and he can catch her alone. He wonders if he should have brought flowers. Everyone likes flowers. But Nancy hates empty gestures, and would prefer someone just being open and straight forward. But you can be straight forward _and_ bring flowers.

Steve knocks, feeling like he might puke.

The door swings open, and Karen’s standing there in sweats, clutching a mug of coffee like her life depends on it. “Oh! Steve. It’s early.”

“Yeah, sorry. I hope I didn’t wake you, or anything.” He’s an idiot. 

Karen laughs, stepping out of the way of the door so Steve can enter. “No. Nancy hasn’t been able to sleep past seven since she and Jon got engaged, and once she’s puttering around, we’re all awake. How’s Billy?”

Steve does his best not to scowl. Billy’s not his real fiancé, after all. He’s here to steal someone else’s fiancé. He has no right to be possessive. “Oh, he’s fine. Sleeping in. I think I really tired him out last night.”

It’s petty, but it makes Karen blush and withdraw the line of questioning. “Ha. Well. Ah. Nancy’s in the living room if you’re looking for her. I’ve been banished out here while I’ve got coffee, so no food or drink in there, or she’ll have a conniption.”

Steve doesn’t ask why, and he really wishes he had. Nancy’s standing in the living room in front of what appears to be every mirror in the house gathered in one collection. She’s in her wedding dress- an ivory gown of light, flowing lace. It makes her look like something out of this world. Like a fairy, or an angel, or a dream brought to life.

“You look beautiful.”

Nancy gasps as she lifts her head, before her lips part in delight. “Steve! You like it?”

“I do.” It feels like all of his organs have been replaced with rocks. “It’s perfect.”

She looks so happy. She’s practically glowing. If Steve were a better man he would wish her well and walk right out that door the way he came. But he still believes he’s the one who should be making her this happy. He’s the one who should be standing beside her tomorrow.

“Nancy, I have something I have to tell you.”

Her face crumples in concern, and she grab Steve by the wrist to tug him over to the couch. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

“Well, I… It’s complicated. I’m not really sure I know where to start.” Steve swallows the lump in his throat. Will she be angry? Relieved? Overjoyed? Indifferent? “I guess it’s easiest to say that… That Billy and I… Well, what we have isn’t real.”

She purses her lips- that little sweet gesture she does when she doesn’t quite understand. “What do you mean?”

“We’re not really in love with each other.”

“Steve,” she takes his hands in hers, and judging by the sympathy on her face, Steve has misstepped somewhere. “Of course you are.”

“No, you don’t get it.”

She squeezes his hands. “The way Billy looks at you- I have never seen a man more in love. I mean, Jon and I are crazy about each other, but I’m still dreaming one day I’ll wake up to him and he’ll have that look in his eyes.”

Steve’s jaw flaps for a moment. He doesn’t know which part of that to address. “Billy- I- When he looks at me, he’s only thinking about how much of an idiot I am. You know, with the eyebrow, and the pinched up mouth, and the cocked head. The Look.”

Nancy laughs, framing Steve’s face like he’s a child. “I know what you’re talking about. He doesn’t think you’re an idiot. He’s trying not to let the whole world know how every little thing you do makes his heart explode.”

“Pretty sure it’s annoyance.”

“It’s fondness,” Nancy insists. “Love. Christ, Steve. He can’t keep his eyes or his hands off of you. And the way he talks about you? The way his voice changes when you’re the topic of conversation? He would do anything for you.”

Steve feels like he’s just been plunged into freezing water, and held under for ten straight minutes. “Billy… is in love with me?”

Billy spent the better part of two years setting Steve up on dates so he wouldn’t be lonely, and he never knew he was into men. Billy remembers what Steve wore the first day they met. Billy makes time in his outrageously busy schedule to have lunch with Steve every other week, without fail. Billy flew all the way out to Indiana to watch Steve chase someone else down the aisle. Billy got drunk and asked Steve to sleep with him, and then ran away when he thought he was rejected.

Because Billy is in love with Steve.

Nancy laughs, bright and kind and beautiful. “Of course he is.”

“But Nancy, I’m in love with _you_.”

“What?” Nancy’s voice cracks, and her round eyes widen. “Steve you- You’re talking crazy.”

Steve slides down to his knees on the floor, holding Nancy’s hands to his heart. “I’m not. I’m talking sense for the first time in a really long time. I love you. I have always loved you. I can barely look at anyone else, because the only person in my head is you. Please. Don’t marry Jonathan. Marry me.”

Nancy pulls her hands away. “You can’t say things like that. It’s normal to panic when you’re engaged. God knows I have my moments, but what’s right is right. I love Jonathan, and Jonathan loves me. We’re getting married tomorrow. And you have Billy!”

“Do you love me, Nancy?”

“I- Steve.” She stands, putting some distance between them. “You need to talk to Billy. I’m not the one should be with right now.”

“I don’t want to talk to Billy.”

Nancy turns her back to him and points towards the door. “Go, Steve. Go. Please.”

Steve forces himself to rise to his feet and drag himself out the door. It feels like he left a piece of himself in that house. It feels like he left a piece of himself in the hotel. He doesn’t know which piece really belongs to him anymore. If any of them do.

Maybe he’s someone who has always been missing pieces.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When Steve bursts into the hotel, it’s with the intention to throw all of his things into his suitcase and storm off back to New York. He failed. Nancy doesn’t love him and this whole thing was for nothing. He couldn’t even do _honesty_ right.

But as soon as he steps into the room, Billy is right in front of him. He’s just gotten out of the shower, slightly damp, wearing nothing but a towel tied loosely around his waist. Billy is a monument to perfection. A part of Steve has always thought so, but it’s strange how opposite he is to Nancy.

Nancy stands a small, delicate body with a well of strength tucked inside. Billy is all thick, dangerous muscle with nothing but softness underneath. Nancy is patient and understanding, and Billy just push, push, _pushes_ , challenging Steve to get over himself. They both know exactly what they want, but Nancy knows when she’s seen a good thing to its end, and knows how to walk away. Billy… Billy holds on to what he wants, fights for it, waits for it until whatever he wants decide it’s time to go.

Steve has no idea what’s going on inside his own head. He doesn’t know how he feels. But he knows how Billy feels, and he wants _that_. Right now, he just needs to be loved.

He steps forward and grabs Billy by the back of the neck. He pulls him into a heated kiss. It’s nothing like the soft sweetness from the night before. This is all tongues and teeth, crashing and burning. Billy moans and slides his arms around Steve- he practically vibrates against him.

When Steve pulls away- just for a moment- he catches sight of Billy’s face. He looks like a man who’s just found salvation. Like a man in a long drought who’s kneeling in the dirt as the rain finally starts to fall. Like someone who’s filled with so much joy that it _hurts_.

Steve dives back in, sucking Billy’s lower lip into his mouth. He jerks the towel off and tosses it aside, refusing to live one more second without his hands on every inch of Billy’s skin. Billy whimpers, sighs, as Steve tears his mouth away from his to nip down his neck.

They don’t speak. Maybe Billy can’t even form words, but Steve- he doesn’t want to snap the thin wire he’s walking. He can be all in on this if he doesn’t really think. If he just feels, he’s okay. It’s bodies, it’s flesh. He doesn’t have to love right now.

He nudges Billy, tipping him back against his bed. Billy sprawls out, propping up on his elbows to watch Steve shed his shirt. He looks like he’s trying to memorize, like Steve’s body is the only thing he ever wants to see behind his eyelids.

Steve kicks his shoes off before he drops to his knees on the floor. He pushes away the memory of how he knelt before Nancy and begged her to choose him. This is different. Billy, whether it’s been spoken or not, chose him from the start.

He flicks his tongue up Billy’s length, making him gasp. Those strong thighs twitch, and Steve grins before doing his best to suck a bruise onto the muscle. Billy threads his fingers through Steve’s hair, grips tight when he takes him in his mouth, tugs as Steve’s lips slide up and bob back down.

“Oh fuck,” Billy breathes, eyes squeezing shut. “ _Steve._ ”

His voice is wrecked. It sounds like he hasn’t spoken for days, or he’s been screaming ’til he’s gone hoarse. Steve hums around him, the fire inside of him skyrocketing as he watches Billy’s abdomen flutter.

Billy swats helplessly at the side of Steve’s face. “Off.”

Steve’s mouth makes a wet little _pop_ as he pulls away. “What?”

“Take your pants off and get the fuck over here.”

With less grace than he’d like, Steve stumbles out of his pants and boxers. As soon as he’s close enough, Billy grabs him and pulls him down. Steve is a little breathless at the show of how strong Billy is. He pulls him around effortlessly. Firm, but gentle. It’s hot. Steve feels too warm.

Billy presses Steve down to the mattress and reaches over him toward the bedside drawer. Steve pants heavily as their nipples brush- little shocks going through his body as Billy rummages for his stash of lube. Billy finds it finally, pulling away enough to smirk down at Steve’s flushed face.

“Doing okay?” He asks the question as he squeezes out a quarter-size dollop of lube, and wraps his palm around Steve’s shaft. It’s terrorism.

“Gettin’ better,” Steve groans, arching into Billy’s touch.

Billy laughs, stroking firmer, faster. He leans in and kisses Steve, filthy and slow. Pushes his tongue past his lips and just rolls it against Steve’s tongue. When Steve cranes his neck for more, Billy bites him- his lip first, and then his jaw.

Then he pulls his mouth and hand away completely, and Steve thinks he’s going to die. But Billy swings a leg over his hips and smooths his palms up Steve’s stomach, looking at him with those blue eyes that are too much, _too much, **too much**_. He reaches a hand behind himself and teases Steve’s length with his fingertips. “Can I?”

“Yes,” Steve gasp. “God, yes. God-”

Billy sinks down over him like he was made for it. Not made for sex, made for sex with _Steve_. Like this was what he was waiting for his whole life. His lashes flutter and he sighs, and Steve can’t breathe.

“Not bad, Pretty Boy.” Billy’s voice is wicked, but thin. There’s spots of pink high on his cheeks. his words are teasing and challenging, but Steve reads the meaning behind them. Hears _finally yes more_.

Steve laces his fingers through Billy’s as he starts to rock his hips. He watches the muscles of Billy’s abdomen and thighs shift and work, licking his lips. He squeezes Billy’s hands and Billy squeezes back, the prettiest little smile on his pouty mouth.

Steve lifts his hips to meet Billy’s, and Billy sucks in a breath. He shudders. Steve can’t help himself- he flips them, pushing Billy down into the mattress. He hooks one arm under Billy’s knee and grips his chin with his free hand. He kisses the life out of him, and all Billy can do is moan like the sound is punched out of him.

It doesn’t take much. Steve rolls his hips deep. Billy gasps every time Steve presses in, until every breathy noise sounds more and more like Steve’s name. Steve’s chest feels tight. He’s overwhelmed. The pressure builds and Billy rakes his nails down Steve’s chest, catching a nipple and making Steve almost shout.

Steve presses his face into Billy’s neck as he comes. Billy just holds him closer with one arm as the other snakes between them to stroke himself off. His jaw goes slack as his orgasm hits, the air puffing right out of his lungs.

Wrung out, Steve rolls off of Billy to settle in next to him. But his mind doesn’t settle. Billy wriggles in close, pressing a kiss to Steve’s shoulder. He drapes an arm over Steve’s waist and lies there quiet while Steve’s thoughts slowly tear him apart.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Steve is an idiot. Even worse than this, Steve is a terrible person. He used to just think he was lost, ambling through bad decisions. But he makes all of his decisions, and he earns it when the shit hits the fan.

Billy holds Steve for a long time without either of them talking. It seems to be enough for Billy. It’s everything for Billy. They lie there for over an hour before Billy gets back in the shower, pulling Steve along behind him.

They kiss. Slow, like they have all the time in the world. Billy washes Steve’s hair, massaging his scalp. Billy gets on his knees on the slick tile, ignoring the way it makes his bones ache, and blows Steve. Steve dries them off and jerks Billy off against the sink.

It’s like they don’t exist in time. Until they do. Until Steve steps out to grab them something to eat, because if they come one more time without food in their bodies they’re going to fall over dead.

Nancy’s there right outside their room when Steve steps out. Her hair is piled on top of her head, and she’s wearing one of Steve’s old shirts. It’s from high school, worn thin and ratty. She gives him a watery smile. “I’ve been standing out here for half an hour thinking about whether or not I should knock.”

“Nance.” Steve doesn’t know what else to say. He’s frozen. She was standing right here, and he was on the other side of that door with Billy’s dick in his hands. Which part of this scenario is wrong? Steve feels guilty and he can’t trace why.

“I can’t marry Jonathan,” she admits. Her small hands grab for Steve’s shoulders. “I barely know him, and I- I know you. I know exactly what our life together would be like. We fit.”

Steve blinks. He feels sick to his stomach. “Nance.”

Nancy leans in. She kisses him. It’s no heat and all desperation. Steve’s life turns upside down.

“Fucking fantastic.”

Steve rips away from Nancy’s mouth and turns to see Billy standing in the doorway. His jaw twitches as he grinds his teeth. His eyes are hard, shining with the effort to hold back tears.

“Billy, I can explain.”

He doesn’t wait for the explanation. He slams the door shut between them. Steve hears the sound of the lock turning, but he tries the knob anyway. He pounds his fist against the door that doesn’t budge an inch.

“Billy. Billy!”

Nancy brings her hands up to her mouth, eyes widening in horror. “Oh my God. I- Steve. What have I-”

She turns on her heels and bolts down the hall. “Nancy!” Steve takes a step towards her, then glances back at the door. He kicks the wall, hard, before tearing off after Nancy. After the person who might listen, who hasn’t shut him out.

She’s faster than him. She always has been. Has several track and field trophies from high school to prove it. Steve still pushes himself. Still runs so fast that his sides ache. But he doesn’t catch her.

No. In fact, before he can even catch another glimpse of her retreating form, he runs smack dab into Jonathan in the hotel parking lot. And Jonathan does not look happy.

He shoves Steve by the shoulders. “What did you do to Nancy?”

“What?”

Jonathan shoves him again. “She left a note. Said that you came by to see her with some bullshit about how you still loved her.”

“Jon-”

He punches Steve square in the jaw. Steve reels, and honestly, he’s a little impressed. Or, he would be if he could pull his thoughts together.

“I love her. I do. Through anything. And I have always heard her talk about you- King Steve Harrington- and I have always felt like I was in second place. You win,” Jonathan spits. “But you don’t, do you? Because you are always the golden boy on a pedestal, the one she performs for, trying to be perfect to match. And I get to be real. I get to see her, and hold her, and be with her. You’re a fantasy, Steve. A liar. And liar’s don’t know how to make people happy.”

Steve gapes. “You’re right.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re right, Jonathan. You’re right.” Steve palms at his face, a deep ache opening up in his chest. “None of it was real. I fucked up. I fucked up everything.”

Jonathan looks at a loss. Angry, but not quite sure how to react to his rival owning up to his bullshit.

Steve laughs, full of pain and self-loathing. “She was my friend. That was real. And I made it mean nothing, and I… I had something that mattered, and I… I’m going to fix it.”

“Fix what?” Jonathan narrows his eyes, suspicious. Fair enough.

“Nancy is going to marry you tomorrow morning,” Steve promises. “You can count on it.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Catching Nancy is impossible, but finding her is easy. She’s there at their old high school, hunched over on the track bleachers. Her arms are wound tight around herself, like that’s all that’s keeping her together.

Steve clunks up the steps, making his presence known so he doesn’t startle her. “Nancy.”

She turns to face him, looking miserable. “Steve. What have we done?”

He sits down beside her. He wants to wrap an arm around her, but he doesn’t. Touching each other right now would only hurt worse. “We have fucked our lives up in the worst possible way. But it’s my fault.”

“No.” She shakes her head, sniffling. “No, I came after you. I complicated things, too.”

“It was all a lie,” Steve says in a rush. His jaw aches, and he’s half-afraid that when he finishes his piece, he’s going to get hit again. “What I meant when I came to see you was that Billy and I were never engaged. We never even dated. I made it up to make you jealous.”

“You…” Nancy deflates a little, huffing a laugh. “Well. It worked.”

“This whole time I was trying to sabotage your relationship.” Steve winces. “I thought I could get you back. I thought… I thought no one could make you happy like I could.”

Nancy squeezes her eyes shut, like looking at Steve is painful. “You’re the one who left me in the first place. Back then, you _were_ the only person who made me happy.”

“I know.” Steve’s never felt so small. “But we were kids and… You and I, something was always missing. We were happy, but it… It was never deep. Never full. We hid parts of ourselves from each other. We still do. And I guess I forgot that, even though I was a prick, I left for a reason.”

Nancy takes his hand- not forgiveness, but a start. “But you came back, Steve, and now I don’t know what my life is anymore.”

“Yes you do. You’re going to marry Jonathan.”

She laughs, tears rolling down her cheeks. “Like he’ll even have me after all of this.”

“He will,” Steve presses. “I’ve got a bruise forming on my face to prove it. He’s crazy about you, and what you have with him…” Steve swallows hard. “It’s more real than anything I could ever give you.”

“I love him,” she whispers. “Why was I so afraid when I love him so much?”

“Because,” and Steve starts to cry, too. “Because if you don’t think you deserve something, you’ll do everything you can to push it away.”

Nancy pets a hand through his hair like she used to do when they were teenagers. “Even if the relationship wasn’t real, you still love Billy.”

“I do.”

“Then why are you still here?”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It’s the morning of Nancy’s wedding, and Steve isn’t at the church. Neither is Billy, but Billy wasn’t at the hotel last night, and none of the other hotels that Steve called would tell him if Billy was there. He’d run all over town. Run all over neighboring towns. But Billy was nowhere to be found.

But it’s the morning of Nancy’s wedding, and Steve is at the airport. Will- who he had hated so completely and entirely for no other reason than the fact that he had owned two seconds of Billy’s attention- called him and saved his life. Or he gave Steve the chance to try and save his life. Billy had said goodbye to Will last night- felt like he owed it to him, after the small start to their little friendship. He’d told him that he was hopping on the first flight out the next morning.

Will had asked for the details of the flight under the guise of concern, but Will- Steve’s angel in the final hour- had immediately forwarded the information to Steve. It seems like Steve could learn a thing or two about friendship from Will. Will, who so obviously has a flicker of want for Billy, but knows how badly Billy wants Steve. Will who took care of Billy first.

Steve’s heart hammers in his chest when he catches sight of Billy outside of security. He looks as gorgeous as ever, like he put more effort into his appearance to hide the fact that he’s dying inside. He’s wearing the red shirt that he’d leant to Steve. Steve wonders if it smells like him. Wonders if maybe that’s part of why he’s wearing it.

He approaches slow, and he knows the second that Billy notices him there, because his shoulders tense up. “Billy. I’m sorry.”

Billy doesn’t look at him, just stares straight ahead. “Harrington. So. Did you stop the wedding? Did you get the girl?”

“I got punched. Which I deserved. Then I begged Nancy to marry Jonathan.”

Billy’s eyebrows shoot up at this, and he turns to Steve finally. _Finally_. “And why the fuck would you do that?”

“Because she belongs with him,” Steve shrugs. “And I belong with you.”

Billy scoffs, shaking his head in disbelief. “You like being wanted, Harrington. And I want you. Everyone knows that. But I…” He clenches his jaw. “I won’t be a place holder until you find something better.”

Steve cups Billy’s face in his hands. “Billy, there’s nothing better out there for me. You’re it. And I don’t expect you to forgive me, but if there’s a chance, then I’m going to try for it. I get to be exactly who I am with you, and I love exactly who you are.”

“You’re a jealous, snobby, over-competitive asshole, and I love you more than you deserve.”

Steve laughs, tilting his forehead to rest against Billy’s. “But you love me?”

“ _More than you deserve._ ” Billy tangles his hands in Steve’s hair. “But you’re also funny, and determined, and sweet without really even knowing it, and I think I’ll die if you spend one more second not kissing me.”

So finally, for once in his life, Steve doesn’t disappoint. He kisses Billy for all that’s he’s worth, and the ache in his chest that has become a part of him finally eases.

“I love you, Billy. And I’m going to work every day to become the kind of man that deserves you.”

Billy tilts his head, giving Steve the full force of The Look. “Yeah,” he breaks out into a full grin. “You better.”

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr at [bisexualgoblin](https://bisexualgoblin.tumblr.com/)!


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